Close-Up/Transcript
The Grinders and Meaty watch Flipz skate at the strip of Sprawl City. She twirls, before finishing. Flipz: Alright! Top that, Lil Rob! Lil Rob: Oh, it's on, Flipz! Lil Rob performs his ability to spin around with a light pole, until a crowd of shouting people rush by. Rob accidentally lands on them, struggling. Lil Rob: Woooooahh!! Hey! Sorry! Pardon me! Watch out! Is that sunscreen? 'Scuse me! Rob's skateboard unbeknownst cuts part of the green mohawk, that belongs to a punkish man. Punk: Hey thanks for the trim! Rob lands safely. Flipz: Wanna go two out of three? Lil Rob: Maybe later. Goggles, what was that all about? Goggles: I do believe that was the siren call of cable television! (pulls out his phone) Time for the live broadcast of "Really Tan Shoppers of the Beverley Hills Mall"! Lil Rob: Man, I bet you're treated like royalty when you're a reality TV star... Lil Rob daydreams being into a reality show. Lil Rob: Hey, dad! I'm home! Gene: Mmmmyello. You can call me Gene. Patty I made your favorite: taco-nacho-burrito casserole with cheddar sauce and onion rings. Denise enters. Denise Can I take you to school for "My Brother the Star" day? Lil Rob: (looks at the viewer) It's good to be the reality king. We then go back to the normal scene. Meaty walks to Rob. Meaty: Who are you talking to? Lil Rob: Uh...no one. He walks towards the others. Lil Rob: Seems like there's a reality show for everyone! Maybe I could be on something like "Skateboarding with the Stars...Who Aren't Stars Yet"! Goggles: Would there be a spot for the slightly nerdy but kind-hearted best friend with a somewhat reliable video camera? Meaty: (nearly mimics the Wicked Witch of the West from The Wizard of Oz) ...and your little dog, too! Lil Rob skates on his way to exit. A truck stops by, and the horn beeps. A man with sunglasses, holding two cellphones on both hands, appears. Man with Phones: Hip and hop! The way you did that thing with the whatever and the flipping thing back with the other thing! What a thing that was! Chip Fligginton, Gnarly Network. The female chorus sing "Chip Fligginton! with a cheesy jingle." '''Chip Fligginton:' I'm the head of reality TV for Gnarly, the network that brought you hit shows like "Aah! There's A Weasel In My Pants!" A man on stage spotted a weasel inside his pants, and begins to panic. Chip Fligginton: And "Do You Really Have To Go To The Bathroom?" Three people on stage, a man with glasses, a women with a long skirt, and a short man, struggle to hold on to their urination. Short Man: I can't hold it! Ah ha ha!! Chip Fligginton: I need a young skateboarder for Gnarly's next reality show. It could be you! (points to Emo Crys) Emo Crys: I'm overcome with emotion. A moment please. Chip Fligginton: But it's not. It's really you! (points to Lil Rob) Chip measures Rob. Chip Fligginton: Audience love kids your size, and I'm going to make you a reality TV star! Stubford Hucksterball pops out of a small bush and trips. Stubford Hucksterball No way! I overheard this entire conservation while I was eavesdropping. (heads towards Chip and Rob) Lil Flob's nothing but legs, wheels, and hair! I've got money, I've got wealth, I have the best skateboard that money and wealth can buy! (thud) His board breaks. Stubford Hucksterball Lackey!! Officer Lackowski pops out on the small bush that Stubford got out of, bringing a new board towards him. Officer Lackowski: (panting) Your Hucksterball Industries Special-Diamond-Studded Blingboard 3000, sir. Stubford Hucksterball (grabs board from Lackowski) Stand back, Wild Losers! Make way for Stubford Hucksterball: reality TV star! Stubford failingly attempts to skate around Emo Crys, Lil Rob, Chip Fligginton, and Lackowski. Stubford Hucksterball Woah! Woooah...! (trips) Ow! His new board bounces off a large item, heading towards Stubford and Lackowski back to the bush. Lil Rob: (to Chip) So you want to do a reality show about us skateboarders? Emo Crys: Finally! A chance to present an up-close and honest image of us kids who reject traditional team sports in favor of the individuality and creativity of street skating. (bell rings) Chip rushes and snaps his fingers to have his managers to set a pitching conference. Chip Fligginton: Pitch me! I need new ideas -- new thinking! What ya got? Emo Crys: Picture this...Man. Nature. A struggle. In the rain. Thank you. Flipz: No way. It's about a strong, fearless warrior of the street who beat all challengers! Jay Jay: Nope. Me and Lil Rob are crime-fighting skateboard detectives! Jack Knife:' No way. It's me and Lil Rob skating on top of wild animals. I called it "Skating On Top Of Wild Animals, Man!" Chip Fligginton: Those are great, fabulous ideas...that I don't like at all. All look disappointed and sad. Lil Rob intervenes. Lil Rob: Forget all that. It's skateboarding. A boy and his board vs. the pavement. Chip Fligginton: A boy...and his skateboard...Are you two out shopping or tanning or having lunch and viciously gossiping with your lady friends? Lil Rob: Nope. Just skateboarding. Chip Fligginton: I love it! I just think it needs a little something extra. You know...er, just a small tweak...erm, hmmmm...An extra element...like a deserted island! Rob was blasted to a deserted island provided by Chip. Chip Fligginton: Welcome to today's episode: Survivor Skater! Lil Rob pops out of the sand. Lil Rob: (to Chip) Survivor Skater? Chip Fligginton: All you have to do is find the Immunity Mallet...to crush the deadly byproduct of scientific testing: Crabzillo, the giant crab! Crabzillo, the large crab appears. Lil Rob: WHAAAAAAAAAAATT?!? Lil Rob flees, and the giant crab looks at the viewer, giving out a shrug. It then proceeds to chase Rob, who is skating away. He heads towards a large seashell, then gets out of it. The crab stops to notice that he's not here. Lil Rob lands on top of it, surprising it. It attempts to attack him with its claws, before tripping on a lower branch of the tree. A native enters. Chief Native: From now on, Lil Rob, you will be our Good Luck Chief! The chief native hands Rob a mallet with a star on it, analyzing to be the Utility Mallet. Lil Rob: Thanks, but maybe next time. Chief Native: Throw our Good Luck Chief into the Good Luck Volcano for even more good luck! The native grabs Lil Rob. The tribe were seen on top of the volcano, consisting of a little girl with pigtails, two guard chiefs, the chief native, and a female native with a long, red skirt. The two guard natives throw Lil Rob to the volcano. Lil Rob: AAAAAAAAAHHHH---!!! The volcano erupts, blowing him away. Lil Rob: ALOHAAAAAAAAA!! (thud) Lil Rob: Legendary, but I'm no fan of seafood. He stood up, and looks at the direction to the Lot. Lil Rob: Cool! The skate park! Let's do--! Chip Fligginton: Not yet! I've got something with big drama -- a house full of it. My dentist's nephew loves show with lots of teen drama. Dentist's Nephew: Ah-lah rah-mah! (I love drama!) Dentist: He says he loves drama! The nephew shrieks with a garble, while the dentist attempts his procedure on his teeth. The Grinders were placed in a house. They did not say a word. Rob looks at Goggles, and then Flipz. Lil Rob: Okay, this is not very dramatic. Chip Fligginton: Oh it will bee...now that the wolverines are here. (wolverines growl and roar) The wolverines attack the Grinders, but Chip Fligginton. At the Dyrdeks' house, Patty was watching television, ignoring the experience that his son, Rob, was in here. Patty: Oh, I hate this show. (turns TV off) The Grinders scream, as the wolverines torture them. Chip is seen exiting the house. Jay Jay exits out by slipping himself onto the mail slot in a cartoon fashion. Jack Knife, Flipz, and Spitball dug a hole. Rob and Meaty pop their busts out on the chimney. Lil Rob: In your face, wolverines! Stubford appears. Stubford Hucksterball What an opportunity! With Lil Rob gone, it's Total Stubford Drama House from now on! Stubford walks inside the house. Stubford Hucksterball Aw, a pretty kitty! The wolverines attack Stubford. Lil Rob: Chip! Wolverines?! Are you nuts?! Chip Fligginton: Yes! Nuts about you! And so will the TV world once they see your cooking...with an alligator, and your sister Denise! We cut to a cooking show with Denise. Denise What's cookin', skate weenie? Oh that's right, we are! The alligator appears. Lil Rob: What? (alligator snarls) Denise hands Rob a drainer. Lil Rob: Tell me the dessert's almost ready. The alligator bites the drainer. Denise Good food requires patience. Chip Fligginton enters. Chip Fligginton: (sniffs) Mmmm...I can smell the ratings from here! Denise That's my Bundt cake! Denise brings out the Bundt cake; the laughing audience track plays. Rob avoids the alligator. Lil Rob: (to audience) While the gator takes a break, I'll take the baking chocolate we melted earlier and mix it with some butter, being careful not to burn. Denise And doesn't that sound dee-lish? (audience applause) The gator breaks Rob's board, before chasing him. Lil Rob: OK, OK! Next time flourless chocolate cake, I promise! Chip Fligginton: Fantastic! And I'm not just talking about your sister's Bundt cake. (throws Bundt cake away) Ha ha ha! Next: your season finale -- The Crazy Race to -- wait for it...wait for it... Rob holds on to the gator's snout. Chip Fligginton: Great Sandy Rock Peak! (gator chomps) Lil Rob: (offscreen) Ow! (onscreen) Amaaaazing! Now you're gonna see some reality skating. (pulls out the tooth of the alligator) Oh! See you guys at the finish line. (looks at the alligator) Gotta motor! See ya Stubford! He zips out, while the alligator chases him. Stubford becomes angry. Stubford Hucksterball Lackey! I'll stop Lil Flob's "stardom" once and for all. He'll never make it to the Great Sandy Rock Peak. (laughing maniacally, chokes) Enter the Great Sandy Rock Peak, where Lil Rob uses a giant rocket on his back. Lil Rob: Great Sandy Rock Peak, here I come! Cuts to Stubford's telescope. Stubford Hucksterball Stubford Hucksterball, you are a super genius! Once you push that boulder, Lil Flob will be Flat Flob! I love it! Love it! Now, Lackey! Lackowski salutes to Stubford, and pushes the boulder with a long, metal stick. The boulder rolls and misses Rob, giving out raising eyebrows to the fourth wall. The boulder heads towards Stubford. He pulls out a small umbrella to block it, but fails, smashing him. The next scene shows Stubford painting an illusion of a tunnel. He jumps out, spotting Lil Rob, who then goes through the tunnel. A confused and upset Stubford goes up to see the problem, only to find out an ice cream truck, driven by Meaty heading towards him. '''Stubford Hucksterball' AAH!! He surprisingly ran away from it. He removes part of the rail with a blowtorch onto the final scene. He finally hides to watch Lil Rob fail, but he managed to jump. Lil Rob: Wooooaaah! (meep meep) Stubford follows him to reach to the disconnected rail, but ends up falling. Stubford Hucksterball WAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! (thud) Lil Rob makes it to the Great Sandy Rock Peak, as the Grinders cheer for him. '''Chip Fligginton:' That was great! With the rocks and the falling, and crushing, it felt real! You guys did a great job. Lil Rob: Wait -- you guys?! Who's this other guy? Chip Fligginton: News flash! My new reality show is "The Lil Rob and Stubford Adventure Hour"! Stubford enters, with injury. Stubford Hucksterball Hear that, Lil Flob? I'm a star! Lil Rob: No way I'm doing some sketchy show with Stubford. Dude's got no skate skills, or any skills. Chip Fligginton: No worries! The network says our new focus group doesn't like reality shows with real people. Too much reality. The group consists of a monkey, a stereotypical, green alien, and an elderly woman, reacting with their dislikes. Lil Rob: Dude, why do monkeys hate me? Chip walks to Rob and Stubford. Chip Fligginton: That's why "The Lil Rob and Stubford Adventure Hour" is going to be...wait for it...wait for it...a cartoon! The female chorus sings "Cartoon!" in a cheesy jingle! Chip Fligginton: We don't even need you to be there. You'll be drawn by the computer. I just need Stubford. Stubford Hucksterball Ha! Lil Flob! I'll finally be a star and you get...wait for it...wait for it...NOTHING! Ah ha ha! Lil Rob: What?! You can't make him the star of my show! It's my show! Chip Fligginton: That's show biz, kid! (gives Stubford a motion capture suit) Here, Stubby! Put this on. Stubford Hucksterball My own motion capture suit?! I'm gonna be a 3D CGI super star! Make me a blue alien cat thing, baby! The boulder smashes Stubford. Chip uses his gesture to make a scene. Chip Fligginton: And cut! Beautiful! Stubford Hucksterball (struggling) I'm...a star. Ouch. Lil Rob: Okay, he can be in my show. Meaty: I love show business. In the living room at Rob's home. Patty: Oh, I hate this show! (turns TV off) Category:Transcripts